![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Chapter 8 is out....read and enjoy while I try and work out the second half...not mention the ending,lol.
Its been a few days since Koki started rooming with Kazu. One would think that he would be over the moon about rooming with his true love, but it only made things harder on Koki. Since he still hasn’t told Kame everything. But he did make a firm decision that he will tell Kame, now telling Kame was one thing...summoning the courage to do so was another matter all together. He was sitting on their bed (as now MaruDa shared a room and since Taguchi’s room had king size bed in it), thinking about how he was going to tell him or, more correctly, where to start when he was interrupted.
“ How’s the pain? I wouldn’t try lying to me about it like you did when you broke your wrist, I know your head’s been killing you as of late.” Kame said
“ It’s fine, I promise. I just took a painkiller a few minutes ago.” He’s been careful to hide his anti-depressant medication where Kame couldn’t find it, especially since he stopped taking it months before their concert tour and never bothered to get a refill....until his recent trip to the hospital, that is and Ueda threatened to kill him if he didn’t.
“ Good, it kills me to see you in pain, but it kills me even more when you won’t let anyone help you.”
" Namely me" Kame thought to himself.
" I have to tell him" koki thought to himself as he saw the sadness reflected in kame’s eyes, like a reflection in a pond.
“ Hey Kame...”
“ Hmm...”
“The rea...” No sooner had the words started to leave Koki’s lips, their door opened as Jin picked that specific moment to barge into their room.
“ What do you want Akanishi?” Koki couldn’t help but feeling annoyed and irked at his band mate's sudden appearance.
“ Well...sorry..I was just wondering if you two knew where Maru went, we were supposed to go shopping for a bit.” Jin said in a slightly affronted tone.
Kame just shook his head as he was even more annoyed than Koki, if that were even possible, at the sudden intrusion knowing that he was about to hear what he wanted to hear a few days ago in Koki’s hospital room.
“ Um, Kame...let’s go for a walk.” Koki said to Kame even though he looked pointedly at Jin. Don’t follow the look said clearly enough.
“Yeah, sure” He just shrugged and followed Koki out of their room. They didn’t stop until they found themselves by the hotel’s pool, the very location of where Koki’s last self destructive event took place.
“ Are you going to tell me why we’re standing by the swimming pool.” Kame asked curiously.
Koki took a deep, steadying breath and started telling Kame everything.
“ The night that I wound up in the hospital, I was sitting in this very place trying to...to..drink myself to death. I was wanting to kill myself, I was hoping to die that very night.”
“ But why....koki?” Kame asked as he felt the tears starting to form.
“ Because I just couldn’t take it anymore...I couldn’t deal with the medication, the severe depression, the dark thoughts, the constant fear that you would find out my darkest secret and run away from me, call me crazy and want nothing to do with me anymore. So, I tried to end it and that’s when Ueda found me and rushed me to the hospital. I was passed out by then so I couldn’t tell you how much I drank...or even what I drank to be honest. So, in order to keep you from finding out I started distancing myself from you...I thought I was protecting you from my self inflicted hell but I failed and I still wound up doing the very thing I was trying to avoid. I still hurt you and for that I am more sorry than could ever be put into words.”
“ Oh Koki...” was all Kazuya could get out as the rest of that sentence got tangled somewhere near his adam’s apple.
“ The reason why I never told anyone, save on and especially not you, is because...I'm in love with you Kame and have been for the past five years, and I don’t want what happened to my parents, to happen to us, to you.”
Finally finding his voice again..as he still wasn't quite sure where it went.
“ What happened to your parents and what is the medication for?”
“ I’ll answer the second question first, I have what’s called Bi-polar depression and the meication that you saw...other than those for my head wound...is too keep it under control so I don’t do the very thing I just did and as for your first question, when my dad found out that mom had the very same thing, it wound up by tearing my family apart and my dad left and never came back. So, to that end I was trying to save myself from myself...so to speak. As you can see, I failed extraordinarily well. I can’t do it Kazu....I just can’t do by myself any longer. I need you Kame, you’re the only one. Please Kazuya...I beg you, save me from myself.” At this koki sat down and started to cry.
There was only one response Kame could think of at that moment and he acted upon it.
“Koki...come here.”
Koki got up and walked numbly towards Kame. They stood there for, what seemed like forever, before Kame leaned in and kissed Koki, licking his bottom lip asking for entrance and koki obliged. It wasn’t anything too intense, it was sweet, gentle and loving. Reluctantly Kame broke the best kiss he ever had in his life and it left him wanting more.
“ That was the best confession I ever heard, try not to worry we’ll deal with this together. I am not your father, no matter how bad things get, I won’t run away...I will succeed with you where he failed with your mother. I will save you, my love. My love for you is stronger than you think, I have been in love with from the very first day we were formed as a group.”
Kame’s eyes shone so brightly with his love for koki, it was like homing beacon to koki’s heart. He knew then that telling Kame was the right thing to do, he had finally found his saving grace.
“ Speaking of your medication, did you take it for today.” Kame asked.
“ Um, I wanted to wait until I told you everything first, since I now have a reason to keep fighting this condition I got.”
“ Oh really...and what, pray tell, would that be baby?” Kame asked as they walked back to their room.
“ That reason is you, angel....” Koki stated simply
Kame just smiled and interlocked his fingers with Koki’s as they walked together, hand in hand, towards whatever the future held for them.
Its been a few days since Koki started rooming with Kazu. One would think that he would be over the moon about rooming with his true love, but it only made things harder on Koki. Since he still hasn’t told Kame everything. But he did make a firm decision that he will tell Kame, now telling Kame was one thing...summoning the courage to do so was another matter all together. He was sitting on their bed (as now MaruDa shared a room and since Taguchi’s room had king size bed in it), thinking about how he was going to tell him or, more correctly, where to start when he was interrupted.
“ How’s the pain? I wouldn’t try lying to me about it like you did when you broke your wrist, I know your head’s been killing you as of late.” Kame said
“ It’s fine, I promise. I just took a painkiller a few minutes ago.” He’s been careful to hide his anti-depressant medication where Kame couldn’t find it, especially since he stopped taking it months before their concert tour and never bothered to get a refill....until his recent trip to the hospital, that is and Ueda threatened to kill him if he didn’t.
“ Good, it kills me to see you in pain, but it kills me even more when you won’t let anyone help you.”
" Namely me" Kame thought to himself.
" I have to tell him" koki thought to himself as he saw the sadness reflected in kame’s eyes, like a reflection in a pond.
“ Hey Kame...”
“ Hmm...”
“The rea...” No sooner had the words started to leave Koki’s lips, their door opened as Jin picked that specific moment to barge into their room.
“ What do you want Akanishi?” Koki couldn’t help but feeling annoyed and irked at his band mate's sudden appearance.
“ Well...sorry..I was just wondering if you two knew where Maru went, we were supposed to go shopping for a bit.” Jin said in a slightly affronted tone.
Kame just shook his head as he was even more annoyed than Koki, if that were even possible, at the sudden intrusion knowing that he was about to hear what he wanted to hear a few days ago in Koki’s hospital room.
“ Um, Kame...let’s go for a walk.” Koki said to Kame even though he looked pointedly at Jin. Don’t follow the look said clearly enough.
“Yeah, sure” He just shrugged and followed Koki out of their room. They didn’t stop until they found themselves by the hotel’s pool, the very location of where Koki’s last self destructive event took place.
“ Are you going to tell me why we’re standing by the swimming pool.” Kame asked curiously.
Koki took a deep, steadying breath and started telling Kame everything.
“ The night that I wound up in the hospital, I was sitting in this very place trying to...to..drink myself to death. I was wanting to kill myself, I was hoping to die that very night.”
“ But why....koki?” Kame asked as he felt the tears starting to form.
“ Because I just couldn’t take it anymore...I couldn’t deal with the medication, the severe depression, the dark thoughts, the constant fear that you would find out my darkest secret and run away from me, call me crazy and want nothing to do with me anymore. So, I tried to end it and that’s when Ueda found me and rushed me to the hospital. I was passed out by then so I couldn’t tell you how much I drank...or even what I drank to be honest. So, in order to keep you from finding out I started distancing myself from you...I thought I was protecting you from my self inflicted hell but I failed and I still wound up doing the very thing I was trying to avoid. I still hurt you and for that I am more sorry than could ever be put into words.”
“ Oh Koki...” was all Kazuya could get out as the rest of that sentence got tangled somewhere near his adam’s apple.
“ The reason why I never told anyone, save on and especially not you, is because...I'm in love with you Kame and have been for the past five years, and I don’t want what happened to my parents, to happen to us, to you.”
Finally finding his voice again..as he still wasn't quite sure where it went.
“ What happened to your parents and what is the medication for?”
“ I’ll answer the second question first, I have what’s called Bi-polar depression and the meication that you saw...other than those for my head wound...is too keep it under control so I don’t do the very thing I just did and as for your first question, when my dad found out that mom had the very same thing, it wound up by tearing my family apart and my dad left and never came back. So, to that end I was trying to save myself from myself...so to speak. As you can see, I failed extraordinarily well. I can’t do it Kazu....I just can’t do by myself any longer. I need you Kame, you’re the only one. Please Kazuya...I beg you, save me from myself.” At this koki sat down and started to cry.
There was only one response Kame could think of at that moment and he acted upon it.
“Koki...come here.”
Koki got up and walked numbly towards Kame. They stood there for, what seemed like forever, before Kame leaned in and kissed Koki, licking his bottom lip asking for entrance and koki obliged. It wasn’t anything too intense, it was sweet, gentle and loving. Reluctantly Kame broke the best kiss he ever had in his life and it left him wanting more.
“ That was the best confession I ever heard, try not to worry we’ll deal with this together. I am not your father, no matter how bad things get, I won’t run away...I will succeed with you where he failed with your mother. I will save you, my love. My love for you is stronger than you think, I have been in love with from the very first day we were formed as a group.”
Kame’s eyes shone so brightly with his love for koki, it was like homing beacon to koki’s heart. He knew then that telling Kame was the right thing to do, he had finally found his saving grace.
“ Speaking of your medication, did you take it for today.” Kame asked.
“ Um, I wanted to wait until I told you everything first, since I now have a reason to keep fighting this condition I got.”
“ Oh really...and what, pray tell, would that be baby?” Kame asked as they walked back to their room.
“ That reason is you, angel....” Koki stated simply
Kame just smiled and interlocked his fingers with Koki’s as they walked together, hand in hand, towards whatever the future held for them.
